Push yourself

When you begin writing, usually it's in a very simple way and everything you write within the first few years of writing is the same. This is alright if you don't ever plan on going anywhere with your writing, but if you want to write for the New York Times or write a best-seller, then you need to try something new.

Now, there are about a billion ways of writing and if you read a lot, you've probably read so many different ways that it makes your head spin. All of these ways of writing probably didn't just magically happen when the writer put pen to paper. I'll bet you that it took them years of trying out new ways to write before they came up with the best for them.

Maybe you write first person and use very simple, common, everyday words. Well, why not push yourself and try something new? How about third person, using synonyms for some of your favorite words and stretching your vocabulary. Try not to use the words 'that' and 'it' so often. Maybe even write a genre that you've never even thought about writing  before.

All of these things can help you grow as a writer. Even if you decide to stick with first person narrative, your writing style will not be the same as it was before. By exploring new ways of writing and thinking, you're expanding your creativity and improving the way that you write.

Just try pushing yourself and trying something new, because if you just continue writing the same way, how are you bettering yourself?

- Kailyn

Cover Reveal - Vision of Shadows by Vincent Marrone

 

December 30, 2013

Is Bristol Blackburn about to meet the love of her life...or her killer? 

After the death of her parents, Bristol Blackburn's life is thrown into chaos and she's forced to move to Spirit, a small town where shadows are stirring. As she learns to navigate her new school and figures out how to keep her psychic abilities secret from her family, Bristol comes face to face with the boy who makes a regular appearance in her dreams: the gorgeous, possibly deadly, Payne McKnight. Soon she’ll find out if Payne will be the love of her life, or the end of it — and she has no idea which possibility scares her more.

And that's not even the worst of it. Strange shadows are haunting her dreams, and they're up to something that could put Bristol and the lives of everyone she loves in jeopardy.

 

You can add Vision of Shadows to your to-read list on Goodreads:

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18108617-vision-of-shadows

Want a taste? 

 

Journal of Bristol Blackburn
Sunday, March 17th

There are times when being psychic really bites and this is one of them. Here it is, three in the morning and all I can think about is the boy who will eventually have his hands on me.

I have no idea what his name is. We’ve never met, but I feel like we’ve grown up together. I’ve had visions of him since I was six years old. Now, eleven years later, I know we’re getting closer and closer to finally meeting. I think it’s going to happen any day now.

And the thought scares the hell out of me. 
 
I know what Dream Boy will look like. In a word: hot. Dark hair that falls loosely over his deep blue eyes. He has an angel’s face and the devil’s grin. 
 
I know he’s got a bad boy attitude. Half the time, I get flashes of him getting hurt. Sometimes he’s playing the hero. Other times, he’s just being an idiot. Many times, it seems like there’s someone who enjoys hurting him.

What I don’t know is what he’ll be to me. 
 
There are times when he seems to love me. Don’t ask me why. But he’ll look at me with nothing but love and contentment in his eyes. Earlier tonight, I had one of those dreams. One where he couldn’t keep his hands off of me. Weird that I know every inch of his body, yet I have no idea what his name is, huh.

Then there’s the other vision. It was the first one I had of him and the one I have most often. It’s the one I woke from tonight, the feeling of his hands still on my skin.

In that vision, he doesn’t look at me with love, but hatred. He has his hands wrapped around my neck as he slowly squeezes the life out of me.

So any day now, I’m about to meet the boy of my dreams—literally. Then I get to see if he’s going to be the love of my life, or the end of it.

Funny thing is, I’m not sure which idea scares the crap out of me more.

  

 About the Author. 

Born and raised in Brooklyn NY, Vincent Morrone now resides in Upstate NY with his wife. (Although he can still speak fluent Brooklynese.) His twin daughters remain not only his biggest fans, but usually are the first to read all of his work. Their home is run and operated for the comfort and convenience of their dogs.

Vincent has been writing fiction, poetry and song lyrics for as long as he can remember, most of which involve magical misfits, paranormal prodigies and even on occasion superheroes and their sidekicks.

As they say in Brooklyn: Yo, you got something to say to Vincent?

Check out http://vincentmorrone.com/ where you can learn about Vincent and leave him a comment. You can also connect with Vincent on Twitter https://twitter.com/Vince524 and Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Morrrone.

Wow, what a stunning cover! I don't know about you, but I can't wait to read this book.

-Kailyn

Review - The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

I know I'm a little late on the band wagon that is The Fault in Our stars, but better late then never, right? 

For the past I don't know how many months, I've been seeing a lot of posts from my friends about this amazing and very sad book and I was determined to read it. So while I was staying with my brother, I asked my sister in-law to take me to B&N so I could get it and started reading it on my plane ride home.

I'd like to say that this book captured my attention right away and that I fell in love with it from the first words, but then I would be lying. Not that I didn't like it, but it's one of those books where I had to force myself to read on, though really all I wanted to do was put it down and pick up a book I knew I loved, like Vampire Academy. I didn't though, most of the time. I pushed onward and was well rewarded.

The story centers around Hazel Grace Lancaster, who currently has cancer and because of it, she has sucky lungs and has to wheel her oxygen around with her all day. Within the first few pages she meets Augustus Waters, a sexy cancer survivor that I grew to love very quickly. There's just something that I really love about Gus and I rather think that he's the reason that I wanted to keep reading. 

Funny, depressing, a little crazy and sad are words I would use to describe this book. It's about cancer, so you expect it to be a couple of those things, but funny? Well, let's just say that for me, it's Augustus that adds that much needed humor to the story. There's nothing wrong with Hazel Graces' humor, but I don't think she'd be half so funny without her partner in crime. 

Overall, I really enjoyed the story, even the parts at the end, where I cried like a baby. There was just something about this story that really grew on me and made me glad that I worked my way to the end and can say proudly that I finished this much loved book. Now I want to pick up my copy of Looking For Alaska that I picked up at the same time.

But, as there is always one of those, I found this story a little hard to read. The style in which John Green writes isn't one that I would say I enjoy and sometimes I had a hard time following along with the story line. Here and there I found it very difficult to read on and there were some aspects of the overall story that I think he could have done without.

In the end, I give it 3.5 stars and recommend that you pick up a copy, as well as a box of tissues, and enjoy.

Happy Reading!

Kailyn

Cover Reveal: Yours, for Now by Siren Allen!

Hello and welcome back to all of you darling readers out there! Are you getting bored? I mean, I don't post very often, do I? I'm terribly sorry about that! However, there appears to be a lovely new cover reveal that I've got for you all! 

I'm sure you'd be delighted to hear that Siren Allen's book "Yours, for Now" is going to be put up on the blog! 

Check out the information below and see if you'd be totally interested in this new book (*cough* like I just so happen to be *cough*)

Blurb: 
The question: "Would you like to try BDSM with me?"

Elizabeth Kemp never thought she'd ask friend and colleague, Preston Lancaster to be her submissive. Even more surprising, he agrees – on one condition: she has to return the favor. Her two weeks as his Domme end with a dramatic climax she wasn't prepared for – she's hopelessly in love and terrified he'll break her heart.

Dr. Preston Lancaster has been in love with Elizabeth since the day they met. His two weeks with her are more than he ever imagined, but when the tables are turned, she refuses to make good on her promise to reciprocate. Preston isn't giving up without a fight, but he's not fighting for two weeks of dominance anymore. He's fighting for forever.

Can Preston convince Elizabeth that her heart is safe with him – or will two weeks be all he has?
Are you interested yet? You can add "Yours, for Now" to your "to-read" list on Goodreads! C'mon, you know you want to: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18214222-yours-for-now
Ah, right! I should probably introduce the author, so let's just ask this question for the sake of asking it:
Who is Siren Allen? Well, here's the answer:

Hi, my name is Siren Allen. I'm a writer and lover of all things erotic and romantic. I reside in southern Mississipi where I write steamy romances that are guaranteed to make you blush. When I'm not listening to the characters in my head and jotting down their adventures, I am busy working as a Clinical Laboratory Technicien. I love to travel, preferably with my husband, so he can do all of the driving. I enjoy time with my family, who are just as silly as I am. I have no children...yet, wish me luck! My hobbies are reading, writing and shopping, though I hate trying on clothing. If I wasn't a writer or a Laboratory Professional, I would probably be a Secret Agent. But that's the beauty of being a writer; you can create your own world and be whoever you want to be. In my imaginary world, I am Queen and my siblings are my minions.

Alright, so I've pretty much told you all there is to know about the book and Siren Allen, right? I guess that's it... right? Oh! I almost forgot (seriously) that this post was all for that cover reveal! Haha.
Well, shall we have a drumroll please?

Without further ado, take a look at Siren Allen's "Yours, for Now" cover REVEALED!

I think this cover deserves a round of applause with its enticing image. I mean, really! That man is just too hot to be on a cover. He should probably be lounging in my living room, instead. *cough* Hold on, don't listen to me. I'm supposed to be keeping this about PG-13, but actually... when you think about it, it's kind of impossible to promote an erotica without going above and beyond PG-13, so let's just keep what I was saying and I'll try not to add to it.

Anyway, that's all we've got for you today! Come back and maybe we'll have more news from or about Siren Allen and her novels! (Personally, this one is interesting me greatly).


Write on.

Guest Post: Lindsey Sablowski!

Hi, my name is Lindsey Sablowski, and I am the author of the young adult fantasy book Cursed With Power and the upcoming sequel, Shadows and Embers (releasing July 26th!). Today I've been asked to talk about how I write my novels and develop the characters.

A novel is honestly like your child. It's special, it's unique, and you know it from beginning to end. You're there with it from the moment it's "born" to the day it "spreads its wings." That's the wonderful part of being an author -you get to bring something into this world that you can be proud of. 

I realize every author has a different way of writing their novel. For me, it changes with each book.  For Cursed With Power I didn't do any outlining for the first draft, and then it wasn't until revisions that I really started to outline what would happen in each chapter.  For my upcoming book, Shadows and Embers, I outlined a lot because I didn't want to skip over anything important. Whether you want to outline or not, I do think it helps a lot to have some kind of organization of ideas for your book. It's so easy to start writing a chapter, think up an idea, and then forget it in the next five minutes. You're a writer, have some fun with your ideas, get creative and have a organized and working system to keep them all together.

As for development with characters, I think a lot of this relies on focusing on people in your everyday life. I write fictional stories, but the characters in my books are created because of people I have met in my life.  Some are more strongly based on individuals than others. This especially goes along with relationships as well. I know what it's like to lose people and to find someone you thought you had lost again, and those kind of experiences can really help when it comes to developing your characters into relationships with one another. People fall in love with characters because they can relate to them or because they have feelings for them. All throughout a book you have chances to show what each character means to the other, and that's how authors like John Green and Stephen King really get to people... They can either scare them or make them cry all because they took something people know and put it into words.

I think another great point to remember with characters is that every character deserves to have their own voice. You know the saying "walk in someone else's shoes?" That is exactly what you need to do for your characters. You need to walk in their shoes, walk with them, talk with them, everything possible until you know exactly who they are. Know them so well that when another character comes along you can clearly tell the difference between the two people talking.

I hope I shared some news tips with everyone that can help, and whenever in doubt remember there are hundreds of books and websites that go into greater detail about all of this.  Enjoy your days, and thanks for having me!

-- 

Lindsey Sablowski

Published YA author of Cursed with Power

Cover Reveal: Shadows & Embers by Lindsey Sablowski

 

Welcome to you all, fellow readers! I'm glad to see that you decided to show up today to take a peek at a lovely cover reveal from Lindsey Sablowski and her new novel Shadows and Embers! It sounds interesting enough to me, and if I ever find some loose change around the house I might just go and buy it. 

Without further ado...

 

 

It's 1569 in Transylvania; Léal Irvine has committed to a powerful man all for the sake of revenge. Handsome, young Irvine is a high-ranking magician working for Esmour's organization, Destin, which is composed of Dark magicians from around the local areas. However, one by one magicians vanish or die, and suddenly the world of magic is not as safe as it once was. One of the members and Léal's best friend, Nicia, betrays the organization before the downfall. Unfortunately no one realizes the act of treason might have saved her life.

A year later Destin has fallen, and Léal sees the world through icy blue eyes. With only five Dark magicians alive his survival is constantly threatened, and he has no great leader or trusted allies to turn to. After infiltrating Belsgar and killing a member of the Magic Council, the war between darkness and light is no longer something anyone can walk away from. A new villain rises with a secret that could be deadly; meanwhile Nicia works to prove her loyalty to Léal while trying to revive their friendship.

Sides will be chosen, relationships will be at stake, and in the end the balance of the magical world will depend on the outcome of the war. When you're walking on a thin line between revenge and forgiveness how do you choose the right path without stepping too far over the crack?

Sablowski's even given us the chance to check out her book jacket, and I can certainly say that it is beautiful! Wah! I want my book to be published, too!

 

That's all! Isn't it lovely, though? Ah, the joys of being an author. 

Looks like I've best get going. I mean, having a job is not the funnest thing anymore, but I have to get to work eventually to win my bread, eh?

Write on!

To write or not to write?

That is the question. Is it not? I mean, I've been sitting at my computer and have begun to put off my novel writing. I know I shouldn't be doing it but some people just lack a bit of inspiration after vomiting their first 18,779 words. Seriously, though, I'm wondering what should happen next. At the moment I feel like I'm writing John Watson's perspective of Reichenbach Falls (if you haven't watched that episode yet then please do!). 

Ah, the reason why I posted today was because my good friend and fellow Inkie (more on that later) has made me a novel cover for my NaNo project. I adore it! 

What do you think? Awesome, eh? 

In fact, it's inspired another half of the story. But I'm limited to what kind of awesomeness I can include, seeing as in the 1800s there wasn't a huge technology boom like there is now. So we'll see how far I can take my dearest Evans and will he break with the death of all of his family and friends? We'll see.

I wonder if I should mention this? I'm going to be posting my lovely novel cover up on a seperate page and I'll add a wordcount bar to show you my progress on how it's going. That should keep you interested, eh?

Write on! 

Welcome to Camp!

Summer has come and it is here to stay - at least for a little while. 

Let's have a show of hands as to who has entered Camp NaNo this summer? I sure have! I'll be participating this July, so I'll only be there for a month. I'm not very spirited to move on to August. That's just too much "word vomit" for me! 

My novel - Watcher - is quite the piece of work let me tell you, but there are always times when I struggle to get through it. I'm always itching to rewrite and erase but I refuse to allow myself such a measly means of escape.

Instead, I power through! It's a tough job but someone's got to do it.

I'm always doubting, but then I'll write a wonderful scene that has even me in tears and I'll realize that this is what I want. I want these tears because they signifie my hardwork and eventually they'll be the readers' tears!

I can't say much more than this, but it's going well. I've got 15,000 words so far and I'm trekking onwards on this long road to finishing my novel. So how have I managed to get through the first week of NaNo? Let me tell you this:

1. Be brave. You can't freeze in the face of danger, you must move forward no matter how daunting the cliffside may be.
2. Don't murder your friends and family (figuratively speaking). Of course, you might be extremely irritated because of the fact that they keep banging on your door and telling you that you should do something with your life and not be sitting at the computer writing a novel that could possibly change the course of history itself but don't let that deter you.
3. Think positive. This is the hardest of them all. I mean, there were times when I just looked at my novel and immediately though: what the hell is this? Some kind of gibberish fit only for trash! but I pushed on. That's the immediate thing. Just tell yourself "When I finish this novel, I might be as famous as J.K. Rowling or it might be as awesome as Stephen King's novels!" 
4. Don't look back. This is another of the hard ones. You must always move forward. To look into the previous words that you've written or the previous chapter leads to your untimely demise. I swear it. If you can't handle the pressure of looking forward, go ahead and look back but remind yourself that if you stop there this is all you'll be getting. There won't be another word after that last sentence.
5. Listen to music! That is my salvation. I swear that music has helped me get through the toughest of scenes and the roughest of roller coasters. It's all that I care about when I'm writing.
6. WARS! A lot of you might not understand the concept of a Word War but (if you happen to be a former Inkie then you won't need this explanation) if you have a bunch of writer friends then gather 'em up. Set a time (:45 to :55) and then you explode into action! You Write! In the given time frame you are to write as many words as you possibly can. At the end, you post your total wordcount (you can try an online site if you don't have Microsoft, like: http://www.wordcounter.net/) and then post up the snippets that you've written. Of course, if there are spoilers then you don't really have to. It's completely and entirely up to you. 
7. Goodluck charms. This is the last one of my little tricks. I use my goodluck charm - being a notebook and a pen - which always inspires me and reminds me that I have to write no matter what. 

You know, there are multiple ways to encourage yourself to write. Some people reward themselves after having reached a certain goal - either with cookies, dinner, lunch, breakfast or just candies. I suppose that's one way to do it, eh?

Anyway, I've got to get back to my own writing, so I'll wish you luck with yours. I'll get back to you next week and see if I can give you a little info on my own project so for now I'm going to drink the wine of literature and spew it up on paper! 

Until next time.

Q&A With Author Nicola S. Dorrington

Seventeen-year-old Cara Page Knows what mark she's going to get on her English test next week. She knows in three days her history teacher is going to be late because his car broke down. She knows she's going to give the new boy a nose bleed on his first day. 

She knows because every night she dreams of the future, and every day those dreams come true.

Now she's dreaming of a boy, and a future that can't be real. Because if it is, then everything she thought was myth and legend is actually true, and there is an evil coming that will tear the country apart.

Lance Filwer is a boy with secrets of his own, and a past full of mistakes he can't undo. Cara is his second chance, his chance to succeed where he failed before - if only she'll trust him enough to let him help her.

Cara needs to know what's happening, but the answer lies in a long forgotten past, and an ancient legend. To find it Cara will have to travel into the depths of Wales, and the heart of ancient Britain. 

With Wraiths, creatures from the darkest of myths, dogging her every move, Cara knows it's only a matter of time before they catch up with her. And myth or not, they will kill her.

Her only hope is Lance, and the birth right she must claim, if she is to prevent the future she has foreseen.

You can buy THE LAST KNIGHT on Amazon.
 
You can add THE LAST KNIGHT to Goodreads. 

About the author

Nicola S. Dorrington is a 29 year-old writer from England, currently living in the Cayman Islands,

where she procrastinates by staring at the ocean. THE LAST KNIGHT is her first novel, set in a wet and mythical version of the country she left behind. She fully expects to one day be a crazy old cat lady - only with dogs.

You can find out more about Nicola on her blog, on Facebook and on Twitter at @NSDorrington. 

I asked Nicola a few questions and here is what she had to say!

When did you begin writing and what prompted you to try it? 

I started writing properly when I was about fourteen or fifteen. I’d always carried on stories in my head when I read books I particularly enjoyed (I suppose it was fan-fiction in its own way) and I just decided to try writing some of them down. I moved quite quickly onto writing my first novel. It was about 20,000 words long and I was so proud of it. I think I still have it somewhere!

Where did the idea for The Last Knight come from? And how long did it take you to finish writing the first draft?

I think I always knew that I would write a book about King Arthur, but for a long time I had no idea how to make it different and original. After all, the legends of King Arthur have been re-told so many times. Then one day I had this idea about a girl having memories of a life that wasn’t her own. It seemed like a cool concept but I didn’t really want to do reincarnation, I wanted something different, and so The Last Knight was born. To begin with all I knew was that she had these visions and that they were somehow connected to King Arthur – it was a long while before the plot as it is now really came into its own.

As for how long it took for the first draft – not that long. I think I finished the very first, rough, long-hand draft in about 7 weeks. It was one of those ideas that just takes hold. Of course, I almost immediately went back and re-wrote about 90% of it, and then it got put away for a few months before I went in for the next re-write. I’ve now been working on it for about 3 years.

The Last Knight is full of myths and all sorts of fantasy creatures. What is your favorite fantasy or mythological creature? 

Oh, now that’s a tricky question, because I love a lot of them. But I would probably have to say dragons. There is something majestic and beautiful about dragons.

Is your main character, Cara, based on yourself?

I wish! About the only thing we share is blond hair. I don’t think I could go through the things she goes through and come out as strong as she does. But she is based on a few people I know.

When you were writing The Last Knight, where there any books that you read as inspiration?

I read a lot of books on King Arthur the whole time I was writing. T.H White’s books, snippets of Malory and Geoffrey of Monmouth. And I read a lot of books on British mythology and folklore.

Are there plans for a sequel in the future? 

The second book, The Last Pendragon, is currently in the first draft stages. I’ve had to put it to one side to focus on the release of The Last Knight, but I’m hoping it won’t take me three years to get this one finished!

What book are you currently reading? 

The Long War by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter. It’s an adult sci-fi, so a bit different to what I write, but Terry Pratchett is one of my all-time favourite authors!

Right before you sit down to write a book, is there anything that you do to prepare yourself and get those creative juices flowing?

Well, I always write long-hand in spiral bound notebooks and I like to have a fresh, clean new notepad when starting something new. I almost never work at a desk, I prefer to write curled up on the couch, but I have to be comfy and I have to have the TV or something on in the background because I actually find silence too distracting. I’ve normally let the ideas stew in my head for a while before I put pen to paper so by the time I sit down to write the words are pretty much leaping onto the page.

Be sure to pick up your copy of this shiny new book! 

Afflicted: Guest Review

Welcome! I've returned now that Summer Vacation has begun and I've got a wonderful little gift for all of our loyal guests at "Hotel de Musings". Today we've got Jelsa, a warmly-welcomed friend, to be our guest reviewer for Afflicted, the sequel to Battle Scars by Sophie Monroe.

1/5 stars

Every pet peeve that I have, I found in this novel. To prove I’m not crazy, I have marked some quotes from the book to back up my points. Here goes:

Repetition of words:

The word “fuck” appears 146 times in the novel. Not only that, the novel is only 197 pages. A few pages had this word on it three or four times. Yes, people curse. But when characters are resorting to only using curse words instead of word choice with more substance, it becomes annoying instead of an asset.

“Another part of my anatomy” (page 6) /“Certain part of my anatomy” (page 25) --> This is Blake referencing his, for lack of a better word, genitals. Not only is that phrase repeated, but it is also not what a teenage male would actually think. To add to the inconsistency, partway through Blake starts referencing this part of his anatomy as “bam-bam,” which is apparently what he has named it. There are so many things wrong with that name that I don’t even want to unpack them. Piper also somehow knows its name. However Blake never mentions it to her, which means Piper must’ve read Blake’s mind or something.

The phrase “claimed my mouth” is often associated with kissing in this novel. Not only is this an awkward phrase, it also doesn’t show what is actually happening. There’s different types of kisses and different lengths of kisses. None of this information is shown when this phrase is constantly used over and over again. The phrase “kissed me passionately” is used over and over again as well. (I also noticed this in Carrier of the Mark.) That phrase also does not give readers real information about anything that is actually happening.

Description of Characters:

Character descriptions are there for a reason. One of my pet peeves is when character descriptions are blocked together, they’re all formatted the same way, and they’re very stereotypical. This book’s character descriptions fell under all three categories.

For example, on page 20 Blake meets a girl named Hayley after a set.

She was a petite brunette with the body of a swimsuit model.

Descriptions like these can be weaved in much more subtly. Describing a girl by her body more instead of her face also doesn’t really make sense because most people look at faces first when they meet people.

On page 35, Piper describes her boyfriend, Cole.

“He was handsome in an all-American boy way with his military haircut and freshly shaved face. He had dark brown hair, big brown eyes and a perfect smile.”

My critique of this sentence would be the following:

-What is the “all-American boy way”?

-Hair and eyes description is at the same time. Usually this should be spread out. Putting them together is very stereotypical.

-What is her definition of a “perfect smile”? Some people like dimples. Some don’t. Letting readers know this information makes the characters more realistic.

Unlikable Characters

There was not a single likable character in this entire novel. Blake is a sex-obsessed boy who spends almost the entire book sleeping with different girls. While relationship abuse is a very serious matter, the relationship abuse in this novel was strung along and repeated over and over just so the book would have some sort of plot. (Although not a very interesting one.) Readers have no reason to want Piper and Cole to remain together. Of course, Piper does end up with Blake, but if Cole is going to be in the novel, readers need to understand him. No character is 100% “good” or 100% “bad.” 

A successful story is able to reveal a characters’ strengths and weaknesses, no matter if they’re protagonists or antagonists. In this novel Cole was 150% antagonistic and, while I also really hated Blake throughout the novel, at least Blake wasn’t abusive.

Also, Blake is definitely a Gary-sue. Every girl he runs into wants to get into his pants, simply because he’s “attractive.” While physical appearance is what most people first notice about other people, a relationship based solely on physical and sexual attraction doesn’t last long in the real world. In the real world people have emotions. Many emotional things and emotional moments happened in this novel, but the emotions were skimmed over and usually sex resulted. As a reader this was very frustrating. While I know that sex before marriage is common in today’s society, reading six sex scenes about fifty pages into a novel is definitely a plot issue. This was a sign of an entire novel of relying on sex for intimacy instead of compassion, emotional intimacy, and friendship.

Besides seeing each other as sex partners, I see no reason for Blake and Piper to be attracted to each other. I was holding out for a well-written emotional scene to redeem this novel, but I was sorely disappointed.

Grammatical mistakes:

My biggest grammatical pet peeve is when people do not punctuate dialogue correctly. Throughout the entire novel, the dialogue grammar was punctuated incorrectly, and it was very difficult to force myself to keep reading on because there is a legitimate way to properly format dialogue, believe it or not.

For example:

Page 8: “Every thing’s going to be fine. Stop worrying.” She teased, placing her hand to the side of my face in an effort to comfort me.

I see more than one problem with those sentences, but I’ll stick to my point for now.

“Teased” is synonymous to “said.” Therefore the punctuation should be:

“Stop worrying,” she teased, placing…

Another option would be to format it with the verb beginning its own sentence, which would look like:

“Stop worrying.” She placed her hand to the side of my face.

When a whole novel has that error throughout it and this author has already published a few novels, this is absolutely unacceptable. If this error happened once or twice, that’s forgivable. But when a whole novel is written that way, that is a huge problem.

(By the way, notice how “every thing” is separated when it should be joined. That’s one of many mistakes in this novel.)

Throughout the novel, there were also instances where the narration would switch from past to present tense and then back to past tense. After a certain point I got tired of recording examples, but here is one from page 16.

I tried calling Rowan again and got her voicemail. We’ve been playing phone tag all week, but in three days we would be in Arizona and I planned on surprising her.

Somehow the author managed to use past, present, and future tense in one sentence. This was, however, done incorrectly. In the second sentence “we’ve” should be “we’d.”

Not only is changing tense incorrect, but it’s also confusing. If a reader begins reading in past tense, they expect the story to stay in past tense. If it switches to present it implies that there’s been a shift in time when there hasn’t been. (I’ll admit this excerpt is not the best example, but at least it gets the point across.)

My favorite mistake was by far the following sentence from page 126.

She walked over to the China cabinet.

China is the country, not a type of silverware.

Okay, I take back what I said. This is my favorite mistake, from page 92.

“I really like her mom and I’m looking forward to bringing her home to visit with me so you can meet her.”

Blake was referring to Piper, not her mom, while talking to his own mother. The lack of commas and punctuation in proper places was a nice recipe for giving this reader a good laugh after reading this sentence.

I could go on about a character “balling” their eyes out on page 158 and find other examples, but that probably covers the grammar inaccuracies enough.

Could’ve Been Written Better:

There were several info-dumps in the novel (the prologue, page 16, page 32 for an info-dump on Piper, and yet another info-dump on page 34. If I’m talking about myself and I say I have black hair and brown eyes and a dog named Waffles that likes to take walks and I like to read and write young adult novels and I’m in a relationship for the first time in my life going on nine months almost and I have two younger brothers who like to play basketball and I’m in college studying to be a psychology and child development major with a minor in music (if you read all that I apologize, it was to make a point) and I just talk about superficial things that could be shown in a novel all in one place, readers get bored and glaze over it. Readers have no reason to care about all that information. Instead if an author wants to reveal information about a character, it can be weaved in subtly.

 A character’s brothers and dog can wait to show up somewhere else in the novel. The major and minor in college information can be shown through a character having a violin recital, or reading a psychology textbook or talking about a psychology experiment such as the slippery slope or Milgram’s experiment (it was quite shocking, I suggest you check it out. Sorry for my awful pun). Then the information adds to the story instead of wasting space.

I don’t even remember what I read about Blake and Piper because honestly, 1) I didn’t care and 2) all the information was in one place, and it was ridiculously long. Through editing and better writing all this information could’ve been shown instead of told, as well as have enriched the story greatly instead of boring readers. 

This might just be my personal opinion, but it would be nice to know a main character’s name somewhat soon after that character’s introduction. In this novel Piper’s last name isn’t revealed until page 191, less than 10 pages from the ending. As a reader I might not have liked Piper a whole lot, but less than 10 pages from the ending is not the place to reveal a main character’s last name.

Inaccuracies

A birthing scene does not take half an hour. However the birthing scene on page 196 spans merely a few paragraphs and takes half an hour. No mention of the pain involved and fatigue. The author clearly did not research birthing, which usually takes around 10-12 hours just to finish the first of three parts. About half an hour to an hour is usually involved in the actual birthing process, followed by the after birth. In the book it’s very casually mentioned that the entire process takes half an hour, which is very inaccurate.

Even if Piper was far enough along that the second part was already beginning, she would’ve been in pain much sooner than described in the novel. Considering a good part of the novel hinges on the fact that Piper got pregnant, this scene should be much more important, lengthier, and more accurate.

Telling, not Showing

There were many examples of this, but let me just name a few:

Page 33: His expression menacing…

Page 34: He truly did look sorry…

Page 37: He looked torn…

Page 38: Clearly torn up about the whole conversation…

Page 157: I said firmly, getting angry with her…

70% of communication is body language. 20% is tone, and 10% is the actual words communicated. What does it mean to have a menacing expression, look truly sorry, or torn? It varies based on character. Some characters are more physically expressive while some turn away when upset. People also express their anger differently. The author missed many opportunities to show how the characters are different because of simply telling emotions instead of showing them. Yes, emotions were (and should) be present due to the subject matter in this novel. They just weren’t presented in a way that a reader can actually connect to.

SEX DOES NOT EQUAL ROMANCE

This topic was basically covered throughout the other sections, so I’ll let this be and recommend no one read this novel. (If I rate a book 1 out of 5 stars, then it’s synonymous to “I don’t recommend it for anyone.”) If what you’re looking for is a novel driven by sex and the same plot points bouncing back and forth, go ahead. But if you’re looking for a book that shows characters struggling through real issues aided by each other emotionally with a real plot line, this is not your book.

If you read this far, thank you for your time, and happy reading.

--- 

Come again! I hope you heed Jelsa's advice, I mean. I took a gander at the book myself and let me just say that I completely agree with everything she's said! 

Beware this book, beware! 

Sorry Madame Monroe, but we'll be looking for a better turnout from you soon, eh?

Review - Goal! A Love Story by Bellamy Black

Goal! A Love Story by Bellamy Black

Jenny Wales is a local television star who has everything she needs: good friends, a great career, and a gorgeous apartment with an outstanding shower. The only thing missing in her life is love, something that she hasn’t made time for in her quest to be the best reporter in town.

An international soccer star, Paolo Gutierrez is a reluctant celebrity looking for a quieter life away from the glitz and glamour of Europe. He longs for chance to remember the game he loves and build a life for himself far from the paparazzi’s lens.

When Jenny and Paolo meet, it’s love at first sight. It should be a simple story of boy meets girl, but the team, the town, and the entire world seem to have an opinion on their love affair. Up against a losing streak, Victoria Beckham wannabes, and the risk of losing their careers, Jenny and Paolo will have to fight to win this game of love.

Excerpt

Jenny’s lips fall open as she stares at the man formerly known as Paolo. “I,” she says with some disgust, “am the worst reporter ever.”

Paolo reaches out, places a gentle finger under her chin, and shuts her mouth. “You are not the worst reporter,” he says softly, willing his cheeks to not turn red. He grimaces at her expression;, she looks so dismayed, adorable but dismayed. “I am just good at evading reporters.” He shrugs helplessly, giving her what he hopes is an apologetic yet winning smile. “I’ve had to be.” It does not seem to be working. “I’ve had a lot of experience over the years.” Paolo tries not to shrink back as her expressions changes from dismay to fury.

“Well.” She leans toward him with an angry light in her eye. “I’m sure you’ve had a lot experience with that — fifteen years, I believe.” She hisses through her teeth, “Juan Carlos ‘the Assassin’ Gutierrez.”

 Paolo gazes at her in awe, mesmerized by the fire in her eyes. She is really something. Gorgeous. He draws back as she squints at him. And a little terrifying. I like it. “Actually.” He chuckles weakly. “It is Juan Carlos Paolo Gutierrez. The Spanish press like to drop the Paolo and replace it with Assassin. It drives my mother crazy.” He chuckles again. “And you pronounced it excellently.”

“Well, thanks,” she snaps, folding her arms. “I got tips from an expert.” Her knee bounces in agitation. “Right now, I don’t know if I’m more aggravated with you…” Her angry gaze flies around the room, landing on the leader of the Conga. “Or with that wooly mammoth over there who has been masquerading as my best friend.” Jenny’s eyes narrow to slits.

Across the room, Rocky stumbles, nearly falling into one of the men he’d told Paolo were called the Wonder Twins.

“Prepare for extinction.” Jenny starts to rise.

“Wait.” Paolo places a hand on her knee, not wanting her to leave. “I am sorry for misleading you. It was my fault.” He confesses, “He had no choice. Please don’t be upset with Rocky.”

“He had no choice? Rocky?” She seems dubious but she slumps back onto the sofa, her eyes flitting between the hand on her knee and his eyes. Paolo smiles at her gently and her eyes narrow again but she makes no attempt to remove his hand. “What was it — the Guy Code?”

“No.” He scoffs. “Nothing as silly as that.” Paolo sighs, squeezing her knee almost absentmindedly as he gathers his thoughts, trying to find the best way to explain his friendship with Rocky. He squeezes again and Jenny lets out a little giggle. Paolo pretends not to hear her as he turns his eyes to her and holds her gaze, wanting her to see his sincerity and honest regret. “It was a handshake and a spit oath.”

About the Author

Bellamy Black has enjoyed the written word long before she could actually read it. This initially one-sided relationship has blossomed into a lifelong love affair filled with adventurous governesses, brave women, and determined warriors. An East Coast girl, living an East Coast life, when she is not writing or working her corporate day job, Bellamy enjoys spending time with friends, a nice glass of Shiraz, and the occasional bit of mayhem. She will also never turn down an opportunity to catch a rerun of the Golden Girls.

You can add Goal! to you to-read list on Goodreads!

You can find more about Goal! on the Entranced site, you can also find the buy links here as soon as Goal! is available!

My Review

My first thought about this book was that I wasn't going to like it one bit, as I'm not really a soccer kind of girl and rarely like books about sports. And maybe I didn't love this book, but it was certainly better then I thought it would be.

It took a little ways into the book for me to finally start getting into it, but when Paolo jumped into the story, I was all in. The instant romance between him and Jenny was adorable and laughable. I couldn't help but smile as I read through their first meeting, first date and first everything else. They are really such a great literary couple.

Though I adored these characters, Rockman included, I found the writing lacking a little. There were times that I felt there could have been more added to a scene and other times less dialog and more action. And I also wasn't crazy about the scenes with Dora. I didn't think it added anything to the story and could have done without it.

But the story itself I liked and the romance was really good, as well the the comedy aspect. Sometimes I laughed so hard that my dad would give me a strange look. And with the more adorable and sweet scenes between Jenny and Paolo I couldn't help but smile and make 'aw' sounds.

Overall, it was a pleasant book, though maybe not the most well written book that I've ever read, though far better then some I have. If you love to laugh and love romance, then this is surely the book for you.

Want to win this book? Enter now!

A Rafflecopter Giveaway

Afflicted by Sophie Monroe

Well hello there to all of you deprived readers! I know, it's been a while since we've posted anything right? Well, give us some time. I'm sure we'll get used to this eventually. Remember, the blogging world is new to us. We're still working out the kinks in our project. But let me assure you that it should be going smoothly next month. I mean, I'll be buying a schedule and everything! Wish me the best of luck, eh?

Oh look here: 

Check below to enter the giveaway for a chance at a free copy!

I suppose I should mention that today we have a novel stoppin' around to be welcomed to our blog. So here it is! Afflicted by Sophie Monroe. 

Fresh off tour Blake Potter, the sexy bassist for Battlescars, is in Smithville, Ohio to work on their next album ‘Coming Clean’. Still pining after Aubrey’s best friend, Piper, it’s going to be harder than he expected to see her back with her long-term boyfriend, Cole. He’s trying his hardest to forget her, but no matter how hard he tries to stay away circumstances keep bringing them together. Being burned before, he refuses to let it happen again. He’s still struggling to let go of Rowan, the girl that made him the way he is.

Piper is fighting an uphill battle of her own. She’s working her ass off trying to make a name for herself as a tattoo artist. Her long-term boyfriend, Cole, was recently discharged from the Marines turning her world in a way that she never expected. When he begins leaving for days at a time Piper starts struggling to help him pick up the pieces. She calls the one person that might be able to help, Blake. He becomes the friend that she needs no matter how much it’s killing him.

What will happen when one phone call changes everything for both of them leading them in a path that neither anticipated? Pasts will come out of the shadows and threaten to ruin everything.

Here's a little bit about the author: 

Sophie Monroe is an author from New Jersey. She’s obsessed with music and loves a good story. She released the Amazon Best Seller Battlescars in March. Afflicted is a spin-off of Battlescars with different characters but has appearances of the reader’s favorites Jake, Aubrey and Granny Jean, along with the rest of the gang.

Well, it seems more of a description of what the novel is supposed to be rather than an author's introduction, but hey? Who are we to judge? 

Oh yes! Before I forget, I think you're all plenty interested now, right? Well, just to be sure here's an excerpt of Monroe's novel, Afflicted. 

Hurt flashed across his face breaking my heart even further. I knew I needed to face this on my own. I was starting to second-guess if Blake and I could really be something, would I ever be able to love him like I loved Cole? Were we holding onto strings better left to fray? He said he loved me and I was pretty sure that I loved him, but in my jumbled thoughts I couldn’t think of anything except going home to Cole.

“I’ll call a cab.” I put on a brave face and pushed everything aside.

“I’ll take you. Let’s go.” 

He said holding my bag in one hand and reaching for my hand with the other. I retracted knowing that touching him would falter my reserve. I followed him down the hallway and said a quick goodbye to his parents with Blake promising to explain when he got back. He told Joss to be there when he got back. Speeding the entire ride to the airport and parking in the drop off zone he walked inside without waiting for me to catch up with him. He went straight the ticket counter using his charms on the girl working. Pulling a credit card from his wallet he handed it to her while she waited for the ticket to print. I stood off to the side letting him do his thing. When he was finished he handed me the ticket with a look in his eyes that will probably haunt me for as long as I live.

Have we got you hook, line and sinker yet?

Well now there are a couple of options before you. You can either buy from:

1.  Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17715869-afflicted
2. Amazon:http://www.amazon.com/Afflicted-Battlescars-II-Romance-ebook/dp/B00CVBB7QW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1370207196&sr=1-1&keywords=afflicted
3. Barnes and Nobles: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/afflicted-sophie-monroe/1115373434?ean=2940016788845

Or enter the giveaway below for a chance to win a free copy! 

Enter here for a chance to win!

Is it truly better to love than be loved?

Blog Tour : Danny by Margo Anne Rhea

Blurb

Paige Warren is sure she's come to terms with her impending divorce, until she wakes up in bed with her soon-to-be ex, Danny. Worse yet, the bed belongs to Stacey, the sexual surrogate Paige and Danny have been sleeping with for months -- and Stacey's not there. 

As much as Paige tries to deny it, she soon realizes she's still in love with Danny. Now she's torn between him and the woman who holds them together. Should she risk hurting Stacey to rekindle a monogamous relationship with the man she once thought she'd spend the rest of her life with, or should she learn from past experience?

Danny is a sensual, erotic novella following one woman's struggle between a love she thought was over and a relationship that's barely begun.

Review

Let me just take a little breather. I mean, after reading this steamy new erotic novel Danny, I must say that it really did take my breath away. Paige and her husband Danny, soon-to-be-divorced, haven't been on the best of terms. Our lovely MC was expecting something a little different in regards to their relationship. Something along the lines of less work and more play, if you know what I mean. Paige, as a character, is quite interesting in the way she perceives the way a relationship should work. Although, I'm going to consider her a little bit of a shy nymphomaniac. (I mean this in the nicest possible way).

Throughout most of the novel, she is eyeing up her husband, Danny, while feasting on darling Stacey that she describes as "looking like pure lust" and with the description in the novel, I can see how that might be true. Ah, in regards to Stacey, she is supposed to be the couple's "cure" for their relationship when throughout the novel it appears she is more like a double-edged sword because it just so happens that Paige has "fallen" for this little vixen. Now, don't get me wrong, as you go through the novel you can see that Stacey is kinda-sorta helping the couple along in their relationship but during those encounters she has with them it appears she's more of a poison than a cure. 

I should get back to the original topic, about the characters; Danny, our hot smokin' husband, is well done in the way he tries to appeal Paige. I absolutely loved his development through and through because the reader, or myself, truly gets a sense of his uncertainty in the beginning that fades as he realizes what he really wants and how he has to go about getting it. The only downside that I really see in this novel would have to be that third chapter. Danny tells his sex-driven wife that he's given up his job and other things just to please her. That doesn't really strike me as something a confident man would do. I mean, why on earth? I suggest that Paige get herself a job and keep up with being able to pay off the bills for the house. I'd say, consdering that Danny was a doctor at a hospital, that he was getting some damn good money. Either Paige is stinkin' rich or she  is definitely in need of some carnal satisfaction (nymphomaniac). 

Most of the novel happens in the bedroom (well it is an erotica) and overall there isn't much detail to the scenery that goes around in the novel. We find out whose bed their on, whose house their in and the time of day it is but otherwise it's not very fleshed out. If you know what I mean. However, I believed this ties in pretty well with the plot. Or maybe just with the character that the novel is centered around - our lovely little nympho Paige. Paige describes the scene in that way of hers which basically consists of telling the reader whose room they are currently canoodling in but she doesn't go very far (which is kind of a relief) I mean, the setting in this kind of novel is important but with the way Rhea described it, it seems to fit in perfectly. I don't see any reason why it shouldn't. 

Now, let's go on to the plot. We have Stacey, our supposed cure, and Danny the hunk of a husband, and Paige who currently loves Stacey, sex and (even though she filed for a divorce) monsieur Danny. In the beginning, Paige wakes up to see mister gorgeous laying in bed next to her with Stacey nowhere in sight. This causes quite the panic in her but as the novel progresses, Paige realises that she still loves her hunk of a husband. This now causes her to feel extremely guilty - even though the three of them end up having sex - and she feels like she should tell Stacey but being the good little nympho she is, she decides to keep it from Stacey who inevitably finds out. 

The plot is original in the sense that it's not everyday that the couple share the "cure" in such a way, and even the fact that the developments between both Paige and Danny were slightly unexpected I believe that it warrants a good enough rating. However, I'd say that you'll have to read it to debate my opinion.

(Purchase links to Rhea's work are at the bottom of the post.)

So, for Danny by Margo Anne Rhea, I'll give it a healthy three and a half stars. 

I hope to read more of her work soon! 

Interview

We were given the chance to ask Margo Anne Rhea a few questions in regards to her life as an author. Here's what she said : 

1. Where did you find the inspiration for Danny? 

The inspiration for DANNY came in the form of a dream. In this dream, my significant other and I were separated, but we were both sleeping with the same woman. He was trying to seduce me to come back to him. When I woke up, I started writing. And DANNY was born.

2. Did you do any kind of research? 

I looked at a LOT of pictures of hot guys on the internet. That's really all the research Danny required.

3. Have you experienced a similar situation such as this? 

I haven't experienced it in real life, no. And to be honest, I'm a little glad I haven't. I imagine divorce is pretty painful for couples, even if they never officially go through with it.

4. What got you interested in writing?

I can't say that there was any one thing that got me interested. I've always written. I never really thought about it and it wasn't until was in college that I began to consider it anything more than just a hobby.

5. Tea or coffee? 

It depends on the mood. If I'm writing and want to focus my thoughts, coffee. If I'm relaxing on a cool (because Florida never truly gets "cold") Winter's night, hot tea is lovely.

6. How long have you been writing? 

Ever since I can remember. Somewhere in a box at my childhood home, there is an adorably poorly-written short story about a rash of crimes against small businesses. The mystery is of course solved by a Nancy-Drew-like heroine of the distinguished age of 8. That's the first thing I remember writing, but I'm told there were many more before it.

7. How many novels have you published? Can you give us a bit of a teaser to one of them (or an upcoming novel)? 

Danny is my debut novella. I would be happy to share a little teaser!

At exactly 5:02 p.m., I shut my computer down, grabbed my purse, and made for the elevator. The ten-minute drive through rush hour traffic felt like it took an hour. But for all my impatience, when I finally parked just steps from Stacey’s front door, it took me several minutes to propel myself from my SUV and into the condo. 

They were both waiting by the fire in the living room when I got there. Stacey, in a tantalizing black negligee that showed everything except what her matching thong covered, looked like pure lust. She had her auburn hair pulled up in a bun, flyaway strands framing her baby-doll face. Big baby blues peered up at me, perfecting the look of innocence.

Danny, on the other hand, seemed more than uncomfortable in nothing but a pair of red boxer-briefs that molded to his body. I couldn’t blame him. We’d certainly seen each other in less clothing than that, but even I felt exposed in jeans and a sweater right then.

“Good, you’re finally here.” Stacey purred the words and patted the space next to her on the down comforter they’d placed in front of the fireplace. I pulled my boots and socks off and joined them on the blanket. Danny had a glass of wine waiting for me and pressed it into my hands as soon as I was settled. 

Stacey’s hand slipped under the hem of my sweater to fiddle with the button of my slacks. I knew what was going to happen next. We’d done this so many times, I could have done it in my sleep. And almost did the other morning, I reminded myself. I avoided looking at Danny. 

Stacey’s fingernails grazed my thighs as she tugged my pants down and off my legs. My sweater was the next to go. She threw that behind her. I watched as it landed unceremoniously on the floor, a puddle of black mohair.

8. Was this the original plan for the novel? Or was it supposed to turn out some other way? 

I didn't actually have a plan for how Danny would end when I started writing it. I just followed the flow. Looking back at it now though, I couldn't imagine a different ending for Paige and Danny's story.

9. Is there an alternate ending to Danny?

There isn't an alternate ending, but I have given some thought to writing a prequel about how Paige and Danny met.

10. Where did you come up with the idea of Stacey? 

Stacey is actually based on a real-life friend of mine. In the dream that inspired Danny, Stacey was just an idea, an intangible character who wasn't actually there. When I was writing Stacey, I needed her to be a deeper character, so I based her on a good friend. 

11. Why did you decide to write erotica? 

It wasn't actually a decision. It just sort of happened. What can I say, I write what the characters in my head tell me to. :)

12. Are you planning to dabble in other genres as well? 

I plan to dabble in any genre that will have me!

And thank you Margo for the wonderful interview you've granted us!

Purchase Links 

Amazon: 

http://www.amazon.com/Danny-ebook/dp/B00CVV1GQ8/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1368995381&sr=1-1&keywords=margo+anne+rhea

B&N: 

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/danny-margo-anne-rhea/1115374594?ean=2940016413310

Kobo: 

http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Danny/book-171Ch9TakSGmUlHYAjSyw/page1.html?s=2msdHoc8ZESCEWJK37NyBw&r=1


Smashwords: 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/317721

That's all we've got for our stop on Danny's Blog Tour! I hope to see more of Margo's work soon, and I hope to see it on the shelves this time.